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Guess what these sign means
Saturday, November 29, 2008
wat r best friends????
Monday, November 24, 2008
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: susmita sreekumar <anplsush@gmail.com>
Date: Nov 19, 2008 6:22 AM
Subject: Fwd: wat r best friends????
To: anplsus@gmail.com
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: tamanna asok <tamanna.asok@gmail.com>
Date: Oct 31, 2008 10:49 PM
Subject: wat r best friends????
To: moncy_simon@yahoo.com
Friends ~~~ Best Friends
Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.
Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home
Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number
(cuz! they can't remember it)
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff
Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story
Friend : will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you
Friend: would delete this letter
Best friend: will send this back to me and all of their online buddies
Friends Forever!
Written with a pen
Sealed with a kiss
If you are my friend,
Please answer this:
Are we friends or are we not?
You told me once, but I forgot.
So tell me now and tell me true,
So I can say, I am here for you.
Of all the friends I've ever met,
You're the ones I won't forget.
And if I die before you do,
I'll go to Heaven
And wait for you.
Show your friends
how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, including the one who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
>
50 things you did not know about Barack Obama
• He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics
• He was known as "O'Bomber" at high school for his skill at basketball
• His name means "one who is blessed" in Swahili
• His favourite meal is wife Michelle's shrimp linguini
• He won a Grammy in 2006 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father
• He is left-handed – the sixth post-war president to be left-handed
• He has read every Harry Potter book
• He owns a set of red boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali
• He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can't stand ice cream
• His favourite snacks are chocolate-peanut protein bars
• He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
• He can speak Spanish
• While on the campaign trail he refused to watch CNN and had sports channels on instead
• His favourite drink is black forest berry iced tea
• He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president – he didn't
• He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
• He can bench press an impressive 200lbs
• He was known as Barry until university when he asked to be addressed by his full name
• His favourite book is Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
• He visited Wokingham, Berks, in 1996 for the stag party of his half-sister's fiancé, but left when a stripper arrived
• His desk in his Senate office once belonged to Robert Kennedy
• He and Michelle made $4.2 million (£2.7 million) last year, with much coming from sales of his books
• His favourite films are Casablanca and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
• He carries a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck
• He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee.
• His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees
• He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing on their first date
• He enjoys playing Scrabble and poker
• He doesn't drink coffee and rarely drinks alcohol
• He would have liked to have been an architect if he were not a politician
• As a teenager he took drugs including marijuana and cocaine
• His daughters' ambitions are to go to Yale before becoming an actress (Malia, 10) and to sing and dance (Sasha, 7)
• He hates the youth trend for trousers which sag beneath the backside
• He repaid his student loan only four years ago after signing his book deal
• His house in Chicago has four fire places
• Daughter Malia's godmother is Jesse Jackson's daughter Santita
• He says his worst habit is constantly checking his BlackBerry
• He uses an Apple Mac laptop
• He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300
• He wears $1,500 (£952) Hart Schaffner Marx suits
• He owns four identical pairs of black size 11 shoes
• He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21 (£13)
• His favorite fictional television programmes are Mash and The Wire
• He was given the code name "Renegade" by his Secret Service handlers
• He was nicknamed "Bear" by his late grandmother
• He plans to install a basketball court in the White House grounds
• His favourite artist is Pablo Picasso
• His speciality as a cook is chilli
• He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were "street urchins"
• He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the fragility of life
• His late father was a senior economist for the Kenyan government
Can I go outside and play with the boys
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
I'm Jane Sugarbrown.
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
story of Chicken Little
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "..... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
math homework
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
A little boy was doing his math homework
A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
When I was six months pregnant with my third child
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
It was that time
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, " Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
One summer evening
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy"
An exasperated mother
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
A small boy is sent to bed by his father
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later ....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
Gift for you and your partner
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New HR Policies
The New HR Policies
PleaseBe Advised That There Are NEW RULES And Regulations Implemented To Raise TheEfficiency Of Our Firm.
Transportation:
It Is Advised That You Come To Work Driving A Car According To Your Salary.
* If We See You Driving A Honda, We Assume You Are Doing Well Financially And Therefore You Do Not Need A Raise.
* If You Drive A 10 Year Old Car Or Use Public Transportation, We Assume YouMust Have Lots Of Savings Therefore You Do Not Need A Raise.
* If You Drive A Pickup, You Are Right Where You Need To Be And Therefore YouDo Not Need A Raise.
Annual Leave:
Each Employee Will Receive 52 Annual Leave Days A Year They Are Called Sunday.
Lunch Break
* Skinny People Get 30 Minutes For Lunch As They Need To Eat More So That TheyCan Look Healthy.
* Normal Size People Get 15 Minutes For Lunch To Get A Balanced Meal ToMaintain Their Average Figure.
* Fat People Get 5 Minutes For Lunch, Because That's All The Time Needed ToDrink A Slim Fast And Take Diet Pill.
Sick Days
We Will No Longer Accept A Doctor Medical Certificate As Proof Of Sickness. IfYou Are Able To Go To The Doctor, You Are Able To Come To Work.
Toilet Use
Entirely Too Much Time Is Being Spent In The Toilets.
* There Is Now A Strict 3-Minute Time Limit In The Cubicles. At The End OfThree Minutes, An Alarm Will Sound,The Toilet Paper Roll Will Retract, The Door Will Open And A Picture Will BeTaken.
* After Your Second Offence, Your Picture Will Be Posted On The CompanyBulletin Board Under The "Chronic Offenders" Category.
* Subsequent Pictures Will Be Sold At public Auctions To Raise Money To PayYour Salary.
Surgery
As Long As You Are An Employee Here, You Need All Your Organs. You Should NotConsider Removing Anything. We Hired You Intact. To Have Something RemovedConstitutes A Breach Of Employment.
Internet Usage
All Personal Internet Usage Will Be Recorded And Charges Will Be Deducted>From Your Bonus (If Any) And If We Decide Not To Give You Any, Charges WillBe Deducted From Your Salary. (Note: $ 5 Per Minute As We Have 4MB connection).Just For The Record. 73% Of The Staff Will Not Be Entitled To Any Salary ForThe Next 3 Months As Their Internet Charges Have Exceeded Their 3 MonthsSalary.
ThankYou For Your Loyalty To Our Company. We Are Here To Provide A PositiveEmployment Experience.
Therefore,All Questions, Comments, Concerns, Complaints, Frustrations, Irritations,Aggravations, Insinuations, Allegations, Accusations,Contemplation,Consternation And Input Should Be Directed Elsewhere.
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